You know, it just wouldn't be your birthday around here if I didn't make fun of you with some sort of photoshop theme. In case you missed last year's hilarious contribution (if I do say so myself), I suddenly realized that not only did I have to come up with something good, I would have to top myself and some days that's just impossible to do.. crazy, insane (some say genius) girl that I am. :-p
But with the help of my two best friends, a lunch table, and absolutely NOTHING else to talk about that day in November.. we came up with the following.
And so, without further ado... let's go back in time with some of the world's greatest masterpieces.
Say hello.. to Gallery de Grohl......
Ahhh, Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa. Absolutely a classic. Probably the most famous painting in the world.
Painted between 1503-1506 with oil on a piece of pine wood, it resides today in the Louvre, Paris, France. (That's a museum in case you never got over there in your many trips to Europe).
Many people have asked.... "What's with that smile?" More people probably say "I wish Mona Lisa would keep her hair long like that. Her long hair ROCKS..." Some have been known to remark the silliness of her goatee. Others believe that this proves it was a self portrait of Da Vinci and not a live model.
Other comments heard throughout many viewings of this historical painting:
"Her F*ing eyes keep following me around. It's creeping me the hell out.." - T. Hawkins, California, USA
"She has man hands. Seriously. I bet she could she play guitar. Whatever." - C. Shiflett, California, USA
"Her head is completely bigger than her body. It's a fake." - N. Mendel, Oregon, USA
Grant
Wood's 1930 Painting entitled "American Gothic" is quite the conversation
piece.
Wood was intrigued with the Eldon, Iowa gothic style house seen in the background
and asked his sister and a local dentist, Jebidiah D. Grohl DDS, to pose as
a father and daughter in his painting.
Not
long after Wood finished the painting, rumors began to circulate in the once
quiet farming town. Apparantly, Dr. Grohl was a pioneer in the field of dentistry
and the first to use nitrous oxide on his patients. Supposedly, after regular
business hours, patients of the female persuasion were overheard to say they
had visited the good doctor behind those curtains in the gothic attic window
for additional crown & bridge work. "Dental Groupies" were vicious
and were known to fight over Dr. Grohl's discarded dental floss and flouride
as well as his own molds. To make matters worse, Wood's sister dropped out
of the Spinster's Club and became president of Jebidiah's fan club, running
a fan-related 'fan-zine' for ladies all over the state of Iowa. She was later
cast out of the state for highlighting her hair pink and tattooing the back
of her neck along with selling off old dental instruments on e-Hay.. a rural,
country auction type place. She took up residence in Texas and was never heard
from again. The rumors, however, were never proven true but it was too late
to save the doctor's good name. Jebidiah retired, took up the acoustic guitar,
and set out to sing for various Democratic Presidential Candidates before
many an Iowa caucus. To this day, the curtains remain hanging in the house.
Arrangement in Grey & Black: Portrait
of the Painter's Mother
A.K.A. "Whistler's Mother"
Oil on Canvas 1871 by James Abbott McNeill Whistler.
Resides in Musee d'Orsay, Paris, France.
Two Words:
STILL ROCKIN'
\m/
"The Scream" by Norwegian artist Edvard Munch was painted in 1893 with oil on canvas.
Originally thought to have portrayed Munch's agoraphobia with a nod to his anxiety from exhibiting his work and being a public figure, we now know that this is not the case.
It seems that Munch, a music fan, constantly struggled with his talent as a painter and his lack of talent with musical instruments which was his real passion. "The Scream" is not only a self-portrait, it is named after his favorite musical group, "Scream" which was a hardcore D.C. band from the late 80s. (1880's?). As you can see, the mere mention that his favorite band would not only be in his city, but that tickets were available, and not from those crap bastards "Ticketmaster", sends Munch into a screaming fit.
Pablo Picasso's
"The Old Guitarist" is an oil on panel painted in 1903.
Painted during Picasso's "Blue Peroid", his sadness is reflected
by identifiying with those living on the fringes of society after trying
to fit in after moving to Paris. The irony of the title of this painting
and the actual topic of this webpage is overwhelming, in fact, the painting
really IS an old guitarist because the subject was 37 when Picasso painted
his portrait. The painting speaks for itself. Ok, not really. We should
probably get some "official" quotes from various people who have
no idea they were being quoted.
"What
form! What emotion!!" - I. Beveridge
"The fingering looks a little off, but what do I know?"
- J. Beebe
"Dude, that's TIGHT!!" - W. Hodgden
"Art? Pfft. When's lunch?" - S. Cox
*Extra special thanks to my friend Kevin for helping me out with the photoshopping. I owe you a bottle of wine. :-p *